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Keywords:

• Vilof is crying about burritos again

Keywords:

• Either your boy toy or the kid

Comment: who pulled a knife on me in high school is here

Keywords:

• I can't remember where my feet are

Comment: All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror

Keywords:

• If we order a pizza

Comment: and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

Keywords:

• If I had pants on

Comment: you wouldn't be getting this text message

Keywords:

• Yeah I should probably start planning

Comment: our first conversation instead of our first child

Keywords:

• The best part about drinking boxed

Comment: wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow

Keywords:

• Of course not

Comment: I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation

Keywords:

• Also 70% sure I have a splinter

Comment: on my eyelid from last night

Keywords:

• Maybe you can hide out somewhere she

Comment: would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

Keywords:

• My chest smells like french fries

Comment: Get at me attractive men

Keywords:

• The more and more I drink I keep

Comment: rationalizing banging eye patch girl

Keywords:

• I woke up and found cookies in my purse

Comment: It's a 12/12/12 miracle

Keywords:

• I really want to throw this drink in you

Comment: but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive

Keywords:

• I know that was a dream because

Comment: I woke up and there was no pizza